


Until the end of forever, I will remember

by AliceInIdolLand



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project, Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Airports, Angst, Comfort/Angst, One-Sided Attraction, One-Sided Relationship, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-03-07 06:47:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13429116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AliceInIdolLand/pseuds/AliceInIdolLand
Summary: It's one thing to have friends who love one another, but it's another situation entirely when the love you feel isn't reciprocated. It's still something completely different when your love is reciprocated, just not in the right way.Kanan loves her friends, she truly does. That's why she'll remember.





	Until the end of forever, I will remember

The plane would be there soon. Even though Mari had tons of money, she had decided to take public transport on the way to Italy, on the way to her new life. Mari would make her way to college, one her father had picked out for her. Mari would be happy, Dia knew that well. Mari deserved to be happy.

Dia had come with Mari, taking a position next to the blonde, only because Mari deserved to be happy. With piles of luggage next to her, the blonde continued going on and on in an animated fashion about how great it’d be. From the way she had been talking about it for hours, Dia could only assume it would be amazing. The brunette hadn’t heard a single word Mari had said, she had been thinking too much. Thoughts and memories flooded her mind, making it impossible to focus on anything else.

Watching Kanan swim on the beach, Mari resting her head on Dia’s shoulder as she napped in the summer sun. Such occurrences made Dia smile, her face flaring red whenever Kanan gave her a knowing look.

Late nights spent over at Mari’s, the blonde bothering her as she tried to get her work done. The conversation would last for hours, the scratching of Dia’s pen becoming the soundtrack. After talking until her throat became hoarse, Mari would talk a little more. Together, they’d lie down on Mari’s oversized bed, falling asleep to the beat of each other's’ hearts.

Spending more time in Mari’s office than her own, making her presence known by saying Mari’s name. The blonde, no matter what important thing she may be doing, would look at her dear friend and welcome her to the room with a smile and a tilt of her head. Every time, Dia’s heart would flutter just a little bit, only a little bit. Still, she couldn’t help but get addicted to the sight of Mari’s beautiful smile, making Dia visit all the more.

The silly prank calls, where Mari would make weird animal noises and hang up soon after. Even though Dia called her back in an attempt to be angry every time, she couldn’t help but enjoy the fact that Mari bothered to call her. Even a little bit of the blonde’s attention, just a little bit, made her happy beyond belief.

Practicing with Aqours, listening to Mari’s joking comments all the while. Half of the time she could only blush. The other half of the time, Dia responded with something mischievous as well. The other members could only smile to themselves at the banter, knowing Mari and Dia were going to end up together.

Although the entirety of Aqours knew it, although Dia knew it, Mari didn’t know it. Mari never noticed, not even a little, all the slight advances that Dia made. She never seemed to notice the actions she made that hinted how she might feel, either. There never seemed to be a reason not to hold Dia’s hand, never seemed to be anything wrong with touching Dia in a little bit of a more-than-friends way. With her constant touchy nature, Mari’s signals were as mixed and muddled as they could be. Maybe she should say something Dia had thought, just a little something, to let Mari know. This entire time, she had thought about it, analyzing the idea from every angle. Maybe, just maybe she had a chance. Still, it wouldn’t be right to drop this on her now, not when Mari would be gone in a matter of moments. She'd be off to the next thing in her life, Dia knew she had no right to stop that. Still, Dia thought, she should at least-

“Dia?”

“Wh-what?” Dia spluttered, blinking in surprise. Mari’s face had intruded into Dia’s personal bubble, Mari’s forehead leaning against Dia’s own.

“Too close, Mari! Too close.” Lifting a hand, Dia pushed the blonde’s face away from her own.

“Aw… Don’t push me away, Dia~ That’s not very nice, not at all~!” Mari whined, her voice as melodious as always. The playful lilt in her voice gave away the fact that her words were meant to tease Dia, but the brunette still blushed a bright red.

“I’m not pushing you away… I’m thinking, that’s all.”

“Oh? What about?”

“Just… lots of things. The future.”

“Ah, yes! The bright future, straight ahead of us!” Mari exclaimed striking an elaborate pose, finger pointing towards the sky.

Dia gave Mari a blank stare for a moment before letting out a small giggle. The blonde could be so ridiculous sometimes, this Dia knew well.

Mari relaxed, bringing her arm back down to a normal level. “Good, you smiled. You haven’t been doing that much lately, you know.”

“I… haven’t?”

With a slow shake of her head, Mari answered. “No, you haven’t. So, I figured I’d make sure to see your wonderful smile before I leave~!”

“O-oh…” There she went again, saying things that made Dia’s heart flutter a little more. Mari’s cute gestures and bubbly way of saying things made another blush rise to Dia’s face, betraying her feelings.

“I…” She’d decided. She, Dia Kurosawa, would say something. She had to say something, and if not now, she never would. She’d say it and she wouldn’t look back.

“You?”

“I… I really…”

“You what, Dia?” Mari inquired, wanting to know what her friend would say.

Dia looked at Mari, her shining eyes, before looking away. Her gaze moved to the wall, her feet, a poster nearby, anywhere but Mari. A slight shiver ran through her spine, alerting Dia to her own nervousness. Taking a breath, a deep breath in, she exhaled. Calm, she would be calm.

“I-”

A loud announcement cut her off. The plane had finally finished unloading, Mari’s flight would be next.

“Oh,” Mari said, pausing for a moment. Turning to her bags, she began to lift the biggest ones. Looking back over her shoulder, she uttered only a single word. “Help?”

Of course, Dia knew what she meant, she wanted help with her bags. Still, even as Dia moved to pick up some of Mari’s luggage, she hoped that ‘help’ referred to something else. Help make me stay, maybe. Help me know how you feel, even. Wishful thoughts, that’s all Dia could think. Shaking her head to clear her mind, she lifted up one of Mari’s many suitcases. Hauling it in the direction of the loading zone, she refused to think about it anymore.

* * *

 

“Well, that’s everything~!” Mari exclaimed.

Although the blonde looked refreshed, Dia had started panting from the effort.

“Mari… do you really need… all this?” she asked between heavy breaths.

“But of course~!” Mari cried out. “Come on, Dia. You’d pack this much stuff too and you know it.”

Dia finally caught her breath before sighing. “I doubt that, Mari.”

Mari's smile became brighter. “Of course, of course. I’m joking, of course.” With that, she turned her back to the brunette. Facing the plane, her vibrant smile faded a slight bit, making her seem more melancholy. “I’ve reached the next chapter of my life. It’s time for me to move on, to spread my wings and fly. Even if I’ll miss you and Kanan and everyone in Aqours, this is something I need to do.”

Dia scoffed a little. “I know that, Mari. This is what we all decided on, after all. We’d let you go.”

“Ah, that’s not quite right, is it?” the blonde answered, still looking at the plane. Her voice trembled a little before she spoke once more. “We decided that we’ll all go our separate ways and that we’ll all be together later. You have to go too, Dia. You have to move on. Move ahead, away from Aqours, from Kanan, from me.” Mari’s voice cracked on the last word, a single tear fell from her eyes.

“So that’s why I’m going, alright? Because we’ll be better when we get back together.” Wiping the stray tear away, Mari turned to face Dia once more, her smile recovering the happiness it had lost. “That’s why you have to go too, alright?”

Dia didn’t have the words for this situation. She didn’t understand but she completely understood why Mari had said it.

“I…” Dia didn’t know what to say, so she nodded instead, slowly and deliberately.

Mari’s face flashed with relief and the blonde exhaled. “Good.”

With that, Mari turned back to the plane, walking to the entrance. “I’ll leave you behind, trusting that you’ll do what you’re supposed to do. You won’t let me down, right?”

“Of course not.” Dia scoffed. She’d forget, that what she needed to do. There’d be no more Mari, and that would have to be okay. She’d forget, that’s what she had to do. She’d move on and find another girl, that’s what she’d do. She’d forget about her feelings for Mari one day. That would have to be the way it would be.

“Mm, alright~!” By now, Mari had made it to the top step, so she turned around to face Dia one last time.

Dia's face showed her confusion, but it morphed into a quick smile when Mari waved at her. “Ciao~!” the blonde exclaimed before slipping out of sight.  
The brunette smiled. Even if she couldn’t love the blonde anymore, Mari would always be Mari. That would make it okay. Dia turned and left, holding back the tears that she refused to let fall.

* * *

 

The plane hadn’t lifted off yet, Mari had only gotten on early to take her place in the V.I.P. section. Her father did own the plane, after all, so she had the whole area to herself. Pulling out her phone, the blonde sighed. Did it have to be like this? Her hopeful heart wished it didn’t, but Mari’s brain knew she couldn’t let it happen. She could never acknowledge Dia’s interest, she could never hurt Dia. Tapping into the phone app, the blonde speed-dialled Kanan. The diver picked up after the first ring, not even bothering to say hello.

“How’d it go?”

“Its… It’s done.”

“And?”

“And what?”

“What’d she say?”

“Dia said she would move on.”

“Good. How do you feel?”

Mari paused. How did she feel? “I don’t know.”

“...” Kanan went silent. “Well?”

“I… I don’t want her to go. I don’t want to leave her like this. Just because I don’t feel the same way she does doesn’t mean that I can… that I can just…”

“Shush, Mari,” Kanan interjected. “We both know this is how it has to be. Otherwise, it’d hurt both of you more.”

“But why can’t I just say yes? Why can’t I be her girlfriend? Why won’t my feelings feel the way they should?” By now, Mari’s eyes had begun to water, her voice coming out choppy. “Why do I have to like guys? Why can’t I like Dia? Why not!?”

“Mari, calm down.”

“But I can’t Kanan, I can’t. No matter what I do, I’m going to break Dia’s heart, and it hurts, Kanan, it hurts.”

“I know, Mari, I know. It’s not your fault. Just…” Kanan hesitated, not sure if she should say what she felt. “Just be glad she didn't confess to it. If she had, we both know you would have said yes and it would have been worse.”

“I know Kanan… I know.” Mari didn’t say anything else, but Kanan could hear her friend sobbing softly.

“It’ll be okay, Mari. I know it’ll be okay.”

As Mari cried, Kanan whispered things, so many things. How it’d all be okay, how Mari didn’t need to worry any longer, how she could forget this when she got to Italy. Through her tears, Mari managed to say that the plane would be taking off in a minute, that she had to go. Kanan hung up after assuring her friend for the last time that it would be okay, as okay as it could be.

Kanan sighed, putting her phone down on a table. Stretching her muscles as she stood from her chair, she sighed. Walking from the inside of her apartment to the balcony, the one that overlooked the ocean, she sighed once more. It would be better now that they were apart, she knew it. If the trio had stayed together any longer, Dia would have made a move and Mari would have said yes. Things would be different then.

Staring at the ocean, the one that seemed so much like the one she used to gaze at yet still so different, Kanan closed her eyes. Life seemed to be too complicated. It had always been this way, she knew that, but at this moment, Kanan just wished her friends would be happy. Happiness had always been too large, too abstract a feeling to reach, especially now.

As Kanan looked at the sea, she frowned a little, so little it would be impossible to notice. One day, Mari would find a guy and Dia would find a girl. Both of them would be happy, they’d have both forgotten the feelings of this day. Kanan knew she wouldn’t forget.

She would never forget how torn her heart had been, not telling Dia that Mari already knew how she felt.

She would always remember giving Dia encouraging looks when the brunette managed to be a little closer to Mari.

Her mind would never stray from the tears that Mari shed late at night, calling Kanan to help relieve her pain at not being able to love Dia the way she deserved to be loved.

Every night, she could hear Dia berating herself, verbally putting herself down after each failed confession, where Kanan herself would assure Dia it would be okay, that the brunette could surely do it next time.

Kanan knew she would never forget. But, if her friends forgot and found the happiness that they deserved, Kanan wouldn’t complain. She would be happy too.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was mostly an experiment for me to write longer things, but I fell in love with the idea and wrote a lot more about it then I usually would... The third years are really fun to write, actually~ Even though I can easily see their relationship falling apart because of the things they might end up doing, they'll probably be okay in the end, I hope.


End file.
